Monday, September 27, 2010

Catching Up

I had originally wanted to do an individual post for all the show premieres last week, but life caught up with me and I just didn't have the time. But since I'm all about finishing projects that I start, here's my summary post for the season and show premieres last week.

If you haven't caught up with the shows, you can catch them online:
Glee at
The Middle at
Hell's Kitchen at
Better With You at
Modern Family at
Big Bang Theory at
$#*! My Dad Says at
The Office at
Outsourced at

 Glee Season Two Premiere, "Audition"

Pros: Song choices were as usual, amazing. Rachel didn't sing every single song which was unusual and great cause really, the girl has an amazing voice, but I like some variety. The performance from Charice who plays new guest character Sunshine Corazon was just tear jerking beautiful. Powerful.

Cons: Kurt didn't have a solo, which is our usual complaint with Glee. Also, while the new football Coach (Beast) seemed to be a new villain for Will and Sue to team up against, the emotional performance by actress Dot Jones was touching and actually made us really dislike Will for the better portion of this episode.

Fav Quote"People thought I went on vacation, but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers." -Britney

Notable Moments: Matt and I were making our observations about the new kid on the block (show), Sam Evans.

Matt: Geez, that kid has a huge mouth. He's like 90% mouth.
Me: I hate his Justin Bieber haircut.

(on the show like 5 minutes later)

Puck: Dude your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?
Sam: I don’t know. I’ve never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?
Finn: The Justin Bieber haircut has to go.

Me: We could totally write this show.

Overall: 7 out of 10. Not it's best, but certainly not it's worst. Either way we're still going to watch it.

The Middle Season Two Premiere, "Back to School"

Pros: The continuity of this show is what keeps us watching. Axel still doesn't wear pants, Sue is still over the top and Brick still whispers to himself. Also, they didn't complain about the economy in this episode which was a nice change of pace. Plus, Doris Roberts and Patricia Heaton on screen together again? Brilliance. 

Cons: Sue's sudden placement into the athletic program feels awkward. By the end of the episode we've decided to never let our children try out for the cross country team. That way we never have to hear the words "cross country team" ever again.

Fav Quote:  "I feel like she's watching me all the time. And she won't let me whisper to myself. Whisper to myself.." -Brick

Notable Moments: Doris Roberts as Brick's new teacher trying to tell Frankie that she is a smothering mother. The irony is too sweet.

Overall: 8 out of 10. We're big on continuity humor.

Hells' Kitchen Season Eight Premiere,  
"16 Chefs Compete" and "14 Chefs Compete"

Pros: A fat chef does karate when drunk. Need we say more? I say that we all take a moment and try to guess what mental illness Chef Raj suffers from. My money is on schizophrenia.  

Cons: More than half of the contestants. Also, our favourite Maitre D', JP has been replaced by someone named James. It was a surprise we were not prepared for and thus, did not appreciate.

Winner Predictions:  Normally within the first three episodes of a reality series, Matt and I can guess at least one of the final contestants and often the winner. We're pretty damn close. So far in watching this season of Hell's Kitchen we're just not sure. We don't really know who's going to win yet. What we do know is who we absolutely hate. Sabrina needs to go. Preferably in a really horrifying way.

Overall: 8 out of 10. It still has Gordon Ramsay in it.

Better With You Series Premiere

I'm honestly not even going to give this a full review. This show was stupid from beginning to end. The acting was horrendous and felt like watching an awkward college drama class performance where half of the students really, really, really, really want to be actors, and the other half is there because is a prerequisite for something else that they're wanting to major in.

The storyline involves a younger sister who randomly gets married to an idiot after finding out that they're pregnant and the rest of the family reacting to the situation. My suggestion... watch Reba, where the same actress performed it the first time.

Modern Family Season Two Premiere, "The Old Wagon"

Pros: As far as we're concerned, it would take a lot for this show to really disappoint us. It's comedic brilliance. Every character is amazing when on screen and it's hard to really pick a favourite moment. Everything is memorable about this show.

Cons: Despite being a season premiere, this episode felt like starting things off mid-season instead of opening the door with a big entrance and a bang. It was good, but people just tuning into Modern Family for the first time might turn it off because it's not an episode that's going to convert new watchers immediately.

Fav Quote: "If an accident does happen I hope he kills me, because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person." -Cameron

Notable Moments: Mitchel getting stuck inside a giant pink castle with a bird. Also, everything with the Dunphy family inside the old station wagon.

Overall: 9 out of 10.

Big Bang Theory Season Four Premiere, "The Robotic Manipulation"

Pros: Sheldon on a date. Mathematically calculating Penny's sexual partners. And Howard with a robot arm stuck on his penis. It's all magic.

Cons: I'm constantly disappointed that this show isn't an hour long. Or running 24/7.

Fav Quote:

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes. Now help me!
Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.

Notable Moments: The nurse at the ER turning the computer off in order to rescue Howard from his robotic arm.

Overall: 10 out of 10.

 $#*! My Dad Says Series Premiere

We're still walking the line with this one. It's not the best show ever, and frankly, I'm pretty certain it'll get canceled within the first season, but you can't hide the fact that there is humor inside William Shatners insanity. The best part of the show so far, has been the fourth wall breaking line, "Why can't anyone ever do a good impression of me?" mocking the typical Will Shatner  . . . . dramatic . . .  pauses when he . . . . talks.

The Office Season Seven Premiere, "Nepotism"

Pros: I'll be honest, a part of me doesn't even know why I'm still watching, but the other part just can't stop. The humor is constant, but the story lines don't keep me interested. The bits do. I don't watch to hear about the company being bought out, or the dramatic romantic life of Michael Scott. I watch to see the pranks pulled on Dwight. The awkward looks Jim gives to the camera and Kelly and Ryan bickering. Luckily, The Office never disappoints.

Cons: None.

Fav Quote:

Pam: (after ruining Jim's prank) Sorry.
Jim: Oh no, I was just going to put a couple keys on everyday until Christmas. Then his pants would've fallen down which was, a little gift to me but...
Pam: It was really funny...?
Jim: Well it would've been. So unprofessional Mrs. Halpert.

Notable Moments: Dwight peeing in the corner of an elevator. Also, the musical opening sequence was awesome.

Overall: 8 out of 10.

 The Outsourced Series Premiere

Pros: C'mon, we all expected this one to be a winner. And it didn't disappoint. It was full to the rim of racial stereotypes, sacred cow humor, Indian food and diarrhea jokes and there was even a mistletoe belt buckle explanation.

Cons: Matt says that there was not enough of Diedrich Bader.

Fav Quote: "And how would you like to pay for your vomit and poo?" -Madhuri

Overall: 10 out of 10. Matt says he's partial to the show because he works at a call center.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Big Bang Theory Tonight!

Big Bang Theory premieres tonight! To get yourself excited, check out these clips.

Catch up on last season before tonight . . .

And if you can't wait a few more hours (I can't) here is a spoilery clip of tonights episode!

Anyone else for Team Shamy?

Running Wilde and Raising Hope

Spoiler Alert. If you haven't seen the season premieres of Running Wilde and Raising Hope, you can catch them online at

A TV show by any other name would smell as sweet. Especially if it's created by the same people that created previous TV shows I found particularly sweet. Watching Running Wilde and Raising Hope this week is like when you go to a Cafe Rio restaurant and really enjoying it and then traveling to another state and eating at Chipotle. It's almost exactly the same thing as Cafe Rio, just ever so slightly different and you're eating it now, instead of then.

Running Wilde, created by the genius behind Arrested Development and Raising Hope created by the genius behind My Name Is Earl is just that. Eating similar food at a different restaurant.

While Running Wilde doesn't really begin to compare to the creativity explosion that was Arrested Development, it at least qualifies as Arrested Developments younger, albeit less attractive brother. Still attractive, but not "sleep with you" attractive. Like "best gay friend" attractive.

Will Arnett returns to sitcom land as Steven Wilde, a man who has everything in the world at his fingertips thanks to the money his Daddy dishes out to him in "points" for behaving accordingly. Wilde spends his time trying to one-up his best friend, being catered to by a nanny and butler and arriving late and drunk everywhere. The only thing he's never been able to have, is Emmy Kadubic (played by Keri Russel) a nature activist who grew up as the daughter of a servant to the Wilde family.

The show, narrated by Emmy's daughter, Puddle, brings these two old friends together in an awkward way, but not such a bad awkward. The kind of awkward you pretty much expect from Will Arnett. The best parts of the show I find are in the supporting characters, which was the same case with Arrested Development. As funny as Michael Bluth was, what you really wanted to see was David Cross covered in blue paint playing Tobias Fumke (pst... David Cross makes a cameo in Running Wilde!)

If you're looking for a replacement for Arrested Development, then keep looking... and you'll be looking for a long time because they just don't make them like they used to. But if you're okay with settling for second best, then Running Wilde is a good watch.

You know the kind of TV Show that does nothing but funny things, and then wonders why it was suddenly canceled after it's 4th season? Well... that wasn't this show. That was a different show. Every time something good happened to the other show, something bad was always waiting around the corner. Karma. I guess that's when the network decided to make a change. So, they made a list of potential new shows to make up for what they thought was a mistake, even though it was a freaking awesome show. It was just trying to be a better show. It was called My name is Earl.

(If you watched My Name is Earl, then that was really funny.)

Matt and I were watching Raising Hope and were surprised when we saw several "Earl" alumni poking up here and there during the show. Which made sense seeing that creators like to work with people they know they can work with again and again and again. If that wasn't the case then Kevin Smith and Quintin Tarrantino wouldn't even have careers. Midway through the season premiere of "Hope" I said out loud, "It's like watching My Name is Earl, only from the point of view of a different white trash family."

Jimmy Chance replaces Earl Hickey as our main character, a person who's spent a lot of his life going down one direction only to have a sudden desire to really make something of his life. Only this time instead of winning the lottery and getting hit by a car, Jimmy gets to sleep with a psychopath and 9 months later gets a baby.

My favourite character in any show, Joy Turner has been replaced by Jimmy's mother, Virginia Chance, a woman who got pregnant at fifteen years old and made every mistake in the book in raising her son alongside husband Burt. Virginia works cleaning houses and Burt (along with Jimmy and Jimmy's cousin) clean pools.

When you used to watch My Name is Earl, you often observed the characters doing illegal, immoral and often just awkwardly embarrassing things to one another and even themselves. Raising Hope is no different. In the first episode alone you are audience to an execution, a car seat mishap, knowledge that the Fire station is a supplementary orphanage, and ultimately, vomiting on a baby.

Despite the mass dysfunction, like "Earl", Raising Hope is about a family who often times do come together to show their love, as is proven when Jimmy's parents finally give in and help him get his new daughter to sleep. The pilot provided momentary flashbacks to Virginia and Burt in their younger years raising Jimmy, moments I hope become a continuity staple in the show because they really add that extra depth to the characters.

If you're not sold on the show now, let me just say two words: Cloris Leachman.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Biggest Loser Season 10 Premiere

Spoiler Alert. If you haven't watched the season premiere of Biggest Loser, you can watch it online at

I have a love/hate relationship with Biggest Loser. I love it because I am a reality show addict. I love it because I do genuinely get motivated and inspired to lose weight and become healthy. I love it because it's interesting to watch and I love hearing peoples stories. I hate it because it's edited to increase drama. I hate it because I don't believe it's a healthy way to lose weight. I hate it because the contestants are constantly monitored by doctors to look for injuries, health issues and overall progress during their journey, so it gives false hope to millions who want to lose weight but don't have a 24/7 medical staff to make sure that someone is there in case they pass out on a treadmil.


Matt loves watching Biggest Loser. It's his chance to unleash whatever anger he builds up all day. He hates most of the contestants on the Biggest Loser. Just downright loathes them. And there's really no reason why. Every season he picks someone to hate, and will continue that bitter relationship all season long. Maybe it's his way of assigning characters to real people. Someone has to be a villain.

This season the Biggest Loser went to several different cities and chose 3 contestants to weigh in. Then, after showcasing their weight to their friends and family, the Biggest Loser said, "By the way, you're not actually on the show yet. We're going to make you do something really strenuous to prove how out of shape you are, and the person who's the most out of shape actually loses, which is weird cause you'd think that we would want to help you!" Only 2 out of the 3 contestants would actually make it onto the show.

To me sometimes, Biggest Loser casting is like the casting for Extreme Home Makeover. The sadder your life is, the closer you are to prime time television. The winners from each city are as follows:


Brendan: Lost the love of his life because of his weight.
Frado: Doctors say he will die in 5 years because of his weight.


Ada: Father blames her for the death of two brothers and almost killing a third brother.
Adam: Mother died due to complications from weight.


Patrick: Only 28 years old, is over 400 pounds and will leave behind a wife and two kids.
Rick: 54 year old physical therapist who weighs over 350 pounds.


Jesse: Was nicknamed "Pumba" from The Lion King during High School.
Sophia: Brother was recently killed in a car accident.


Allie: Had vertical banded gastroplasty at fourteen years old to fight her weight problem. It didn't work.
Lisa: Has a daughter who stopped eating and drinking because she didn't want to be fat, like her Mom.


Burgandy: Mother of five, foster parent, military wife, mother of an autistic child.
Tina: Husband cheated on her, daughter got pregnant as a teen, and her father died.


Jessica: Mother told her that she wouldn't be loved because she was fat.
Mark: Lost his job, father battling cancer and grandmother is dying.

It may just be me, but I think I would be a shoe in for this competition.

Other competitors Elizabeth, Montina, Anna, Aaron, Sandy, Corey and Shanna were all eliminated from the competition because they couldn't finish their challenges, came in last, or in some cases, their bodies gave out on them and they earned a trip to the hospital instead of the Biggest Loser ranch. Gone from the contest forever.

Or are they?

Yes, like with every single season, Biggest Loser not only takes the weight off of the competitors, but enjoys doing massive mind !@#$s with them too! Though the details have not been told yet, some of the now "at home" competitors will have another chance to get back on the Biggest Loser. I'm guessing only two, because so far there is no yellow team. It will certainly stir up some drama in the house and a big, "You're not welcome here" sign will be presented as usual.

So far Matt seems to dislike everyone except for Frado because his full name is Alfrado, and Matt thinks it would be awesome for a guy who has a food name to win a weight loss competition. I'm preferential to Burgandy and Rick myself cause despite being heavy (and Rick being the older than his competition) both kicked the crap out of their challenge to win a spot on the Biggest Loser.

I am not liking Jessica so far from what I've seen of the preview. There's always someone who is there to cause drama. Anyone remember Vicky?

So what do you think of this seasons cast? Who are you rooting for?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Terriers: Veronica Mars 2.0

Spoiler Alert

I can't be the only one thinking it. And to be fair, I've only watched the first episode of the new show Terriers, so for all I know, they could have changed everything in episode two, but from what I've watched of the show I can't help but ask . . ."Didn't Veronica Mars already do this?" 

Let's look at the evidence:

Main Character Become a Private Investigator Because . . . . ?

Hank Dolworth: Used to be a cop but but chose to drink a lot and in the process lost his job and status.
Veronica Mars: Used to be a popular girl but chose to stick by her Dad and in the process lost her status.

Sidekick gets swooped up in the main characters determination to take down the man..

Rich guy and the towns "favourite son" is a supposed killer and crossing them is dangerous..

Dead friend becomes the spark that causes the main character to take action..

There are plenty of other similarities in the cast including the ex from the previous life, the friends from the previous life who now look down upon our main character because of their choices, and even the appearance of a bulldog in the first episode. Also, supposedly our potential villain in Terriers is creating a hotel resort fraud, a storyline that also took place during season two of Veronica Mars.

Overall, Terriers is a decent show, funny and entertaining, plus Matt and I love Donal Logue, but despite all the good qualities of the show, instead of watching the episodes we have in our DVR, I've just gone back to Netflix to re-watch my favourite Private Investigator.

What are your thoughts about Terriers?

Mike & Molly Review

Spoilers below. If you haven't watched the season premiere of Mike & Molly, you can catch it online at

I only saw one preview for Mike & Molly before deciding to watch it and I knew that it had HUGE (no pun intended) potential to be really good, or really, really bad. A show about fat people falling in love? Would the jokes eventually run out? But Mike & Molly is created by the same people that make Two and a Half Men and Big Bang Theory and honestly, I can't think of two more successful sitcoms on TV today. Mike & Molly has hope.

Watching the show was a relaxing experience. I wasn't tipping over in laughter, but I wasn't saying things like, "Really? They went with that joke?" either. It was pleasantly funny and showed a realistic look into characters I feel I already know. Fat people often learn to be funny in order to make up for what they feel is a flaw on their exterior and that's how both Mike and Molly come across. Genuinely funny, but not because they are played by actors and comedians.

  • The AMAZING Swoozie Kurtz plays Molly's Mother.
  • Katy Mixon (from Four Christmases) plays Molly's sister and I was glad to see her in something else.
  • The connection between our two main characters seems very genuine and endearing. I believe them.
  • Hilarious moments like Molly screaming "Shut up!" at her nine year old class.
  • Mike and his partner telling a little boy to wash his hands or he'll go to jail.
  • Molly states at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting that she's okay with who she is, she just wants to be healthier and have control over her overeating. This made me super happy because I was worried this was going to be one of those "Oh the fat people hate themselves cause they're fat" shows or the opposite "It's okay to be fat cause bacon grease tastes better than salad" shows. But they were able to find that happy middle and even did it with humor. Bravo.
  • Molly's sister smokes weed twice in the episode. Totally unnecessary. The character could be funny and entertaining without a drug habit. I found it very offputting.
  • Mike's partner overacts in almost every scene. I don't buy it. It's too much despite some pretty good lines every now and then.
Favourite Quotes:
  • "You're a big boned girl, you'll always be a big boned girl." "Bones don't jiggle Ma."
  • "You're pretty funny." "Yeah I figure if everybody's laughing then they're not trying to kill and cook each other."
  • "I know I'm never gonna be a size two, and that's fine, cause I happen to like who I am. There's nothing wrong with me as a person. I'm smart, I'm funny, I recycle. I just want to learn to control my eating. Not keel over in a White Castle drive-thru like my dad. And it was his third lap."
  • "Just stuff?! Is that what you call the diamond necklace your father gave me?" "I'm so sorry." "Did you know that he had to take a second job to afford that thing? And I had to give him a third job to get it." 
  • "You had every chance to ask me out and you choose to ask me out in the middle of a crime scene?" "I realise this is not the most opportune moment but I'm quite smitten with you.
Overall I really like the show and I can't wait to see what comes next!

So weigh in your opinion.

What did you think of the premiere of Mike & Molly?

Season Premiere of HIMYM was Legen . . . wait for it . . . . Dary!

Spoilers below. If you haven't watched the season six premiere of How I Met Your Mother, you can catch it online at

The season premiere of How I Met Your Mother reminded me of everything I absolutely love about the series. And unlike many things in season five, I was not reminded about everything I hate about the series. Honestly, I loved the idea of the show when I was first turned onto it, because I too have a long ass story about how I met my husband. But I cannot seriously be the only one who has caught onto the fact that in the process of telling his kids how he met their mother, Ted has dated and/or had sex with at least 9 girls in the first season alone!

I don't know about you, but this just sounds like bad parenting. "Hey kids, let me tell you about how I met the love of my life and in the process somehow did not contract STDs or get anyone knocked up!" It's going to replace Cinderella for all children everywhere.

Aside from that, I love the series! And I loved the season six premiere!

Here are some legendary moments I loved about the season six premiere episode "Big Days" of How I Met Your Mother:
  • The technicality of "dibs" including a history of "dibs" that was cut short.
  • Robin's attempt to prove that she's still sexy.
  • That little moment between Robin and Barney. Come on, who's a Robin/Barney shipper? Me! Me!
  • The music that Lily and Marshall plan to have sex to.
  • Lily using her breasts to manipulate Marshall.
  • Guest appearance by Bill Fagerbakke as Marshall's dad!
  • Awesome cliff hanger that made me immediately freak out.
Favourite Quotes:
  • "You have no reason to be nervous. None whatsoever. And I'm going to tell you why in one word." "And what's that word?" "Dibs!"
  • "Is this a cheeto?" "No, we ran out of cheetos last week. Oh yeah, it's a cheeto! Dibs."
  • "Marshall wait! A big package just arrived." "Yeah it did."
  • "Okay, so you want me to give my dad a stroke?" "Only if you want to give this a stroke!"
    So let's speculate (even though we already know who I'm rooting for) . . . who's wedding does Ted meet "The Mother" at? (Considering that he's apparently the best man, Marshall and Lily are already married and neither Robin or Barney are present in the flash forward) Ahem. Speculate away.

    Monday, September 20, 2010

    Tuesday Premieres are Tomorrow . . . . . . . but . . .

    How psyched are you for season two of Glee!? I'm losing my mind! Which is interesting because apparently Finny will be "losing his religion". Which, for the record? Awesome. Lots of yummy spoilers below in the video, all of which I'm thrilled for!

    I can't be the only one who's had their Glee soundtracks on repeat this summer. I never thought I'd know all the words to not one but 2 Lady Gaga songs, but Glee . . . you just bring things out in me that never before were there.

    Sunday, September 19, 2010

    Monday Night Premieres

    I am so excited about all the premieres this week! So many new shows and all my favourites are returning! What's even better is that this year I don't have to listen to everyone saying things like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe Lost is almost over!" Because it's over! Yay!

    I'm really hopeful for this season of How I Met Your Mother. I really hope they push more toward finding "the mother". I think the worst ending to this series would be to find her on the last episode and just leave it there. I want to get to know her! I want to see the interactions from beginning to end. I also want more Robin/Barney goodness. And dopplegangers!

    Okay, I'm really looking forward to watching Mike and Molly. It's a show about two fat people that fall in love. I know, how could I possibly relate? But it looks like such a sweet show! OMG, I totally just remembered that I have donuts in the kitchen! Awesome! So yeah . . . Mike and Molly is created by the same people that are behind Big Bang Theory, which is literally, my favourite sitcom ever in the history of ever. If they can find that magic touch for this show that they've found for Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men, then Mike and Molly will be in syndicated heaven soon enough!

    Alright, so I haven't watched last seasons Castle finale. We were warned ahead of time by friends not to watch it because it's full of cliff hangery goodness and we're very impatient. So we held off and will probably watch the season finale sometime tomorrow afternoon in order to catch the season premiere tomorrow night.

    But all spoilers, news and such aside . . . . Nathan Fillion. Shiny.

    What are you most excited about watching tonight?

    Why I Don't Like Channel Surfing

    I should probably mention that there are a few things I don't like to be spoiled about. I don't like spoilers when it comes to reality TV shows. I want to have a panic attack while I hear those words . . "and the winner is . . . ." right along with the contestants. I also don't like being spoiled when it comes to mysteries or suspenseful movies and television shows.

    You know the surprise ending to the next Saw movie? Keep it to yourself! You heard about some mystery serial killer on Castle? Mind your business!

    Tonight, by total accident, Matt spoiled season four of Dexter for the both of us. And by both I mean that he's normally the one to cover his ears and eyes whenever there's a random ad for any show we watch (but aren't yet caught up with). Matt's still on season five of House, which is why season seven is NOT scheduled to record on our DVR this week. It will be a "to be downloaded later" television show. While I already know spoilers for the next season of the show, we've both gone out of our way to quickly fast forward or change the channel anytime a new House preview comes on.

    But tonight . . . . Matt failed to act quickly.

    Reader Beware

    Caution: Spoiler Whore

    I watched the first season of Veronica Mars online. The second season was already done filming and I had recently been turned onto the show by several friends of mine who insisted I would love it. They were fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly and How I Met Your Mother, so I knew I could trust them.

    While my husband was at work, I dove into my recent downloads and absorbed every minute obsessively. The entire season, done in less than four days. It was riveting. It was hilarious. It was darn right persnickety. Sometimes even persnicketier. And I knew I had to share this gift with the rest of my little world. My husband, my roommates, friends, family, in-laws . . .  no one was safe. And when I had watched the entire series with each one of them, enjoying the experience right along side them as though it were the first time all over again, I realised that I hadn't seen a single episode of the second season.

    Five episodes in one day I craved more, but alas, the TV had nothing left to give me for one whole week. But what did Google have to offer? "Veronica Mars, Season Two Spoilers" . . . . and the rest . . .  is history.

    I've been a Spoiler Whore ever since that moment. Granted there are a few things I will save for myself, but considering the fact that most TV shows I watch I am able to devour by the seasons, waiting throughout a regular weekly airing of episodes is just not enough. I must sing Glee songs along with the show! I must know who the mother of all mothers is on How I Met Your Mother! I need to watch the train wreck of Twilight movies before I pay for a ticket, it's less painful that way.

    And so I spoil, and I whore.

    I decided to create this blog not to dish out spoilers, though there might be a few here and there (don't worry, I'll give warning), but because I needed somewhere to talk about movies, television shows and all the weird crap I come across online. I needed a place where my husband could review what video games he's currently playing. Cause in reality, none of this media gold really belongs on any of my other blogs. It deserves it's own space.

    So fellow TV Geeks, Trekkies, Xenites, Whedonites, Browncoats, Gamers, Twi-hards, Internet Junkies, Otacons, Movie Buffs, and True Believers . . . . mosey around, comment, dish on what your watching and send in your spoilers (cause I know I'll read them!)

    ABC, I'd like a house now - kthanxbye!

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    Take 1 part gorgeous redhead . . .

    Mix 4 hours of sleep and 8 hours of work . . .

    Beat in 3 episodes of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition . . .
    To get 1 red hot mess . .
    Matt won't even watch the show with me. He says it's too sad. Well duh! No one gives free stuff to happy people! I think this is just encouraging me to be even more sad. Seriously! My mom died when I was 2, my Dad is a homeless drug addict, I was raised by my three aunts (one of whom was killed in a car accident when I was 13), my Grandmother had a stroke when I was 7 and died when I was 15 . . .

    PLUS, when I got married I gained like 50 pounds!

    Where's my house, Ty!?

    Matt is not sympathetic at all:

    Me: I'm watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It's sad. I'm crying all over the house.

    Matt: Why are you watching that?

    Me: Cause I'm dumb.

    Matt: Well watch all of the ones you have recorded so I don't have to watch them with you.

    Me: You have no heart.

    Matt: Every time you make me watch that stupid show it's always about the family where the wife died and then I get sad!

    Me: The wife didn't die in this episode!

    Matt: Let me guess, the husband died.

    Me: And one of their kids.

    Matt: What is wrong with you?!

    Me: I love too much.

    Matt: I'll see you when I get home.

    He totally doesn't get me.

    It hurts inside.

    It hurts so much someone should give me a house for it.

    How Steven Spielburg Ruined Christmas (among other things)

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    Kidding, he didn't ruin Christmas. But I maintain that he's responsible for a lot of wrong done in the world.

    Matt: Wanna watch Band of Brothers with me?

    Me: No.

    Matt: C'mon, you liked Saving Private Ryan.

    Me: I like movies with Tom Hanks in them.

    Matt: Tom Hanks is an executive producer.

    Me: I like movies with Tom Hanks IN them.

    Matt: But it's made by Steven Spielburg.

    Me: I hate Steven Spielburg.

    Matt: Blasphemy! You love Steven Spielburg.

    Me: Hate him and everything he stands for.

    Matt: What about The Land Before Time?

    Me: The Land Before Time was one of the greatest movies ever made. But he became responsible for it once it was created. It was his creation and he let someone rape it into 70 soulless sequels.

    Matt: Fair enough. What about Jurassic Park?

    Me: Jurassic Park 2.

    Matt: Jaws.

    Me: Jaws 3.

    Matt: E.T?

    Me: That's not even funny! (note: I'm afraid of ET)

    Matt: Indiana Jones!

    Me: Indiana Jones 4!

    Matt: You can't blame that all on him. George Lucas had more to do with that.

    Me: Do you really want me to get started on George Lucas?

    Matt: The Color Purple?

    Me: Hmm . . .  you got me there. I like The Color Purple.

    Matt: I thought you were gonna fight back with "the rest of Oprah's sold out career".

    Me: Oh!

    Matt: Too late!

    To be completely fair, there are apparently plenty of movies Spielberg had a hand in that I greatly enjoyed. At least according to IMDB. I maintain my stance on George Lucas however.

    The Invention of Lying: How a short, fat writer with a snub nose got to have Jennifer Garner as his love interest

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    Matt and I watched "The Invention of Lying" last night.

    It's a lie. It says that it's a comedy, but really it'll have you in tears within like 20 minutes. But it does say 'masturbation' like eight times within the first ten minutes, so frankly I'd recommend it to anyone. I'll probably even buy it later.

    But seriously, a Ricky Gervais movie is not supposed to make you think, or feel emotions other than hilarity (yes, hilarity is an emotion now). You're supposed to laugh and go, "Wow, he makes me so uncomfortable." Not, "Oh my gosh, he should totally win an Oscar for this!"

    Watching the "Invention of Lying" because you enjoy 'having a laugh', is like watching "Marley & Me" because you once also had a happy puppy. No matter your intentions for watching the movie, you're gonna get punched in the crotch somewhere in the film.

    But I made another observation whilst 'having a laugh' last night.

    Ricky Gervais is kind of a genius. He wrote a movie where he plays opposite a gorgeous woman. I bet in the script it even said something like, "Jennifer Garner type actress". And if it didn't, it certainly didn't say "Average Looking Woman". No. The whole point of her character is that she's supposed to be gorgeous. And how convenient for him!

    Me: I'm gonna write a movie where I star as the heroine and my love interest will be described as very nearly, in fact exactly identical to John Cena. It'll totally be needed for the character too. Like being John Cena will come up later in the film. It's necessary.

    Oh John . . . . but I can.

    I digress.

    So anyways, the movie was really good to be fair. I'd watch it over and over again. And then once more with my mother in law, cause they drop the F-Bomb in there like twice and I get a chuckle out of her horrified reaction.

    There's a bit about religion that had me rolling my eyes a lot, and now I'm pretty sure Ricky Gervais is an atheist in real life and he was using this movie to get a point across, but whatever. Besides the point. 

    It made me think, "I wonder what it would be like to be unable to lie for one whole day." And not just lie. The people in this movie are incapable of keeping the truth to themselves! They say horrible things to one another! What would that be like? 

    Matt: I couldn't do it. I'd be walking up to complete strangers and saying, "I don't even know you but I hate your stupid face."

    For reals.

    When Do the Rest of Us Get Our Own Kindly Asian Man?

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    I'm going to tell you a secret.

    I hate going to the movies. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm cheap I prefer to spend my time watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition learning things that will be beneficial to my life and like feeding the homeless and stuff. Either way, it's a rare situation where I enjoy going to the movie theatre instead of being dragged kicking and screaming wondering why it's necessary to see Spider-Man at a midnight showing. Isn't Spider-Man going to be there in the morning?

    I digress.

    On occasion, I will look over to my sweet husband and say the words, "Let's catch a movie." At which point half of his brain prepares for whatever new chick flick has inspired me to dish out the thousands of dollars it takes to buy tickets and a third of a bucket of popcorn. The other half of his brain is wondering if I've had some sort of stroke and he might be able to convince me to watch whatever new zombiesuperherocomicbookandoralien movie was released most recently.

    A few months ago I saw a trailer

    And I remember saying something like, "Will Smith's kid in a Jackie Chan movie. Stupid." Cause if I'm anything, it's open minded.

    And then the words "The Karate Kid" flashed on the screen and the 80's child within me started screaming
    with glee remembering a time when I once had enough balance to do a cartwheel and that would certainly qualify me to learn karate.

    It didn't take long to talk Matt into going.

    Can I just say that, for me, the movie was beyond awesome. I loved it. Jaden Smith is actually a really amazing actor. Like remember when Dakota Fanning was little and everyone ooed and awed over her? It's kinda like that. Only without a strange teen rebellion involving lesbian make out sessions with Bella from Twilight. So far.

    Jaden Smith has such similar mannerisms to his Dad that when you watch the movie, you're thinking, "This is just like watching Will Smith except I'm not secretly wondering if there's a nude scene later on." It's very freeing.

    Another secret? I like the new Karate Kid more than the old ones. Why? Because this one seems a little more realistic. The kid actually trained and learned kung fu for the movie.

    I remember being a kid and watching the original and thinking to myself that Ralph Macchio always looked like he was constipated when he was fighting. And he whined and complained in every single movie. He learned karate, nothing else. All after school special moments in the original movies were forgotten by the sequels and the stupid kid was off doing something else which would somehow endanger himself, his girlfriend, his family or his teacher . . . and would certainly bring great dishonor to his family.

    This movie. Totally worth the 4 tons of gold we had to fork over in order to buy our tickets.

    I only had two problems with the entire movie.

    1. During the credits they played this really cute song that was so catchy and I was singing it myself until I found out that it was sung by Justin Bieber. Okay, I'm still singing it. But mark my words, this kid will be dressing like a whore just like Hannah Montana soon enough.

    2. Like all movies of this nature, I left the theatre wondering where in my life I had missed my opportunity to have a kindly asian maintenance man teach me self discipline and how "not" to fight. If I had some old guy to teach me kung fu, I would now be able to climb the stairs without collapsing into a puddle of sweat at the top. I'd also probably be doing laundry or something else that I'm totally procrastinating. Cause kung fu teaches you self discipline and how not to be totally lazy.

    Thanks a lot Jackie Chan. You're setting a whole new generation up to be disappointed when they find out that their maintenance men are old, fat white guys.

    Children's Movies are the Number 3 Leading Cause of Divorce

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    Matt: 'Where the Wild Things Are' came out.

    Me: I don't know if I want to see that.

    Matt: Why not?

    Me: Because it's one of the best children's books of all time. And so was 'Bridge to Terabithia'.

    Matt: You loved that movie.

    Me: It was okay. I didn't like it as much as the book.

    Matt: That reminds me. I hate you. You knew about the end of that movie and you didn't warn me or anything. I was like, "Hey do you wanna go see 'Bridge to Terabithia'?" and you went, " . . . . . . yes?" Cause you knew and you didn't say anything!

    Me: To be fair, I totally gave you fair warning about 'Marley & Me'.

    Matt: Not the same thing.

    Me: Marley & Me would have been way worse!

    Matt: No it wouldn't have. I've seen 'Old Yeller'.

    Me: There's a big difference.

    Matt: No there's not! Watching 'Old Yeller' is like getting stabbed in the face. 'Old Yeller' is what children's nightmares are made of. 'Old Yeller' is for little boys, what 'Bambi' is for little girls.

    Me: I never got sad watching 'Bambi'.

    Matt: That's cause apparently you don't have a heart!

    Me: No I mean the mom dies and I was kinda like, "So what? Mine died too, you gonna cry about it?"

    Matt: Yeah plus 'Bambi' had that bad ass stag for a Dad.

    Me: He was totally bad ass.

    Hello F-Bomb

    Matt: He was a stag pimp. He was like, "Yo Thumper, where's my money!?" And smacks him in the face. He hoof slaps a bitch. He was like if James Earl Jones was a deer, that would be him.

    Me: James Earl Jones isn't a deer. He's a lion.

    Matt: Stupid effing Lion King.

    Me: Do. Not. Insult. 'The Lion King'.

    Matt: You mean "MacBeth Light"?

    Me: Don't start with me. You know better than to insult 'The Lion King'!

    Matt: Did you know that 'The Lion King' is a total rip off of a Japanese movie about a lion named Kimba?

    Me: That's stupid. The name similarities don't make sense. 'Simba' is Swahili for "lion". No relation to the Japanese movie. Besides, lions in Japan . . . doesn't make sense. Lions are in Africa.

    Matt: This movie did take place in Africa.

    Me: Why were there Japanese people in Africa? You're not making any sense!

    Matt: . . . . . You can't be talked to right now.

    Me: You know what I never understood? How like there's only two adult male lions in the whole movie, and yet it's established that Simba and Nala are the same age. Who is Nala's Dad? For that matter, who's the Dad of the little girl deer that Bambi falls for? Wasn't there only one stag in the whole movie? There is some serious polygamous secrets going on inside the Disney vault!

    Much like polygamists, the lions aren't Mormons either

    Matt: Well, 'The Lion King' was a stupid effing cartoon.

    Me: You're a stupid cartoon!!


    Update: Sorry to my more conservative readers. I'm aware an F-bomb was dropped. I would have given you warning, but it would have ruined the flow. Plus, I don't really warn people in real life when I drop them. I should work on that. Maybe I'll wear a sign.

    Update x2: So apparently The Lion King does have a bunch of similarities to some Japanese movie called 'Kimba the White Lion'. But I maintain my loyalty to TLK. Plus I still sing songs from Simba's Pride like on a daily basis.

    Update x3: A commenter wanted me to point out that The Lion King is not MacBeth light, it's Hamlet light. Which means Matt is terrible with Disney trivia and Shakespeare.

    Julie & Julia

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    Spoiler Alert 

     A movie about cooking and blogging? I've been counting down the days until the release of Julie & Julia, one woman's journey in mastering the art of french cooking . . . and blogging it.

    As a blogger and self proclaimed "foodie" I knew I would identify with the main character Julie Powell, and my excitement was so great that I even went and bought the book a month before the release of the movie. The movie, I have to admitt is much better and contains about 75% less foul language than the book.

    What vulgarity is left in the movie is in fact unnecessary and I'm eager to see if I can eventually get it from one of those movie editing sites where they take out all the crud. I don't particularly mind it, I'm not so easilly offended, but honestly there's plenty of French words in the film already.

    The movie covered a lot of interesting points when it comes to blogging. The excitement of your first comment, the realisation that people are actually reading you, the free stuff (sure I get mine from winning things on other blogs but still), and ultimately the fact that sometimes blog life and real life become one, and they don't always mix.

    "Don't write about this in your blog!" The husband of Julie Powell states in the movie. A direct quote also taken from my husband who in the theatre turned to me and glared, his eyes turning into pointing accusational fingers.

    Ultimately, the movie left me feeling slightly empty. Not because it wasn't a good movie. The acting was pure genuis. Meryl Streep and Amy Adams just bring life to the story, and since it's a true story (two in fact) it's pretty helpful. The love shared between the husbands and wives is real and romantic at the same time. The empty feeling I was getting afterwards was also not because I was hungry after watching two hours of french cooking (although we did need to stop somewhere directly on the way home to pick up a bite).

    No. The empty feeling came from the understanding that I got from the bloggers point of view. Having a purpose in your blog, and questioning that purpose constantly. Failing, but getting up to fail again. Realising that perhaps the only people reading are your friends and family, and if there are others out there reading, what if you stopped writing? Their lives would of course ultimately continue, but have you made an impact at all?

    There's other reasons I left feeling as though the story was not properly completed, but I won't spoil anyone, you'll have to see it for yourself.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a purpose for my blog and wonder if I can cook my way through Paula Deen's cookbooks and blog about it. I could call it 'Mastering the Art of Butter'.

    Bon Apetit!

    George Lucas is Responsible for Most of the Evil in This World

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    Spoiler Alert

    Hook was one of the best movies ever. I honestly can say that Hook is like a free pass for anything horrible Robin Williams did afterward, (License to Wed excluded, there's no getting out of that disaster.)

    So after watching Hook this morning, curiosity called me to IMDB with a desire to know what happened to all the little lost boys in the great land of Hollywood. It turns out that most of them did stuff that I've never heard of, but holy snap! Remember Peter's little daughter? The one who sang that pretty song on the pirate ship? Well this is what she looks like now! And then I looked up how old she was, and she's my age. How did that happen? I could not have been that young when Hook came out. I know I'm "only" 26, but slowly I'm beginning to notice that people who were my age when I was young are getting old, and according to the math, that means that I am too. It's unpleasant.

    A while ago my husband and I taught Sunday School. One day our students were asking us questions, something along the lines of "What were 8-tracks like?" "Was the Vietnam war scary?" and "Did you know JFK personally?" I may be exaggerating, either way we turned and I said, "How old do you think we are?" Most of the sweet and lovely little children were polite enough to label me somewhere between 22 and 28, when one kid shouted out, "35?"

    35!?!? "I'm barely ten years older than you are you little . . !!" Kidding, I don't yell at my students. But she might have been able to read thoughts, I'm not sure. Either way, when did it become okay for kids half my age to think I was like 3 times their age? It's upbringing I tell you. Kids aren't taught manners. Or math. And none of them have calendars.

    So I went back to looking through IMDB at all the people in Hook, and did you know that a bunch of actually famous people played random pirates? Glenn Close, David Crosby, and Jimmy Buffett are all pirates in Hook apparently. And then Carrie Fisher is listed as "Woman Kissing on Bridge", and I was like "Woah! Honey! Carrie Fisher apparently kisses someone on a bridge in Hook!" And then beneath her was listed: George Lucas as "Man Kissing on Bridge" and that just didn't sit well in my stomach. I mean, Carrie Fisher will always be Princess Leia, and George Lucas will always be old and pudgy, and now he's probably some sort of pervert that planned this all along. Get Princess Leia to wear a metal bikini in his movie, and then stalk her to another movie where he just happens to play her counter part on some dark strange bridge, and she can't exactly say no, because she's getting paid for the part, and really, she hasn't done much since Star Wars anyways, so she probably needs the money.

    And then I realised that Steven Spielberg directed Hook, and so he officially has become George Lucas' pimp.

    Honestly, where's Indiana Jones when you need him?

    He's playing with freaking aliens, that's where he is.

    "Can you believe how much money we have?"
    "I know! It's ridiculous!"

    Scary Movies Hurt People

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    I went through a period in my early teen years where I could watch scary movies over and over again and be perfectly fine. In Jr High, the last day of school in our drama class, our teacher did a movie trivia game and in the final round, we got to pick the movie we thought we knew the best. I buried my competition with my knowledge of Scream.

    But for some reason, the older I got the more afraid I was of horror movies. But a specific brand of horror movies. Every Halloween Matt and I have a Saw movie marathon and then we go to the theatre and watch the new one that came out that week. I'm fine with it. What I'm NOT fine with are the movies about spirits, demons and dead things coming back to life (and not in the Dawn of the Dead variety). I'm also terrified of dead Asians thanks to movies like The Grudge.

    But, against my better judgment I still watch the stupid things anytime Matt puts one on. He goads me into it.

    A few months ago after I went to bed, Matt decided to stay up and watch Paranormal Activity.

    Or don't see it at all. . . that would be better for everyone.
    The following morning I was met by pleadings to watch the movie with him. He insisted that it was like The Ring, and that only after he showed someone else could the terror leave his own mind. He even agreed to let me rub it in his face for a whole year if I did. Despite warnings from my friends on Facebook, I watched it with him in the bright and sunny afternoon.

    I sat in the recliner and Matt took the couch because we have a rule that we can't sit together while watching scary movies. This rule came about after watching What Lies Beneath when we were sixteen and after getting scared, I accidentally stabbed Matt in the head with one of the metal butterfly clips I had in my hair.
    Love is pain.
    Me: This is stupid. I can't believe you were afraid of this.
    Matt: I watched it in the dark, on the computer 5 inches away from my face.

    I was victorious. I watched a scary movie and came out untouched while it was Matt who was left scared.

    And then the sun went down. And I realised that when I turned the lights out in our bedroom and used my cell phone as a flashlight, everything kinda looked like Paranormal Activity.

    So the other night I went to bed early and made it through my usual before bed routine. I undressed, brushed my hair, turned out the light and flicked on my cell phone to guide my to my side of the bed. As I was walking I was reminded of that movie. I was also reminded that my closet door was open behind me and that I hadn't looked under my bed in quite some time.

    Despite all my natural instincts that tell me there's nothing going to jump out and grab me, I thought, "Well the bed is safe, so even if there's no monsters in my room, the faster I get in bed, the better off I'll be." And so I jumped.

    Mid air I thought: "Success! Eat this monsters/demons/dead Asians and evil creatures!"

    And then I landed.


    And I couldn't move.

    I immediately called Matt from the other room begging for help and pain killers asap. Explaining the situation was not helping.

    Matt: What happened?
    Me: I jumped into bed and I think I cracked my ribs. Now I can't move.
    Matt: Why did you jump into bed.
    Me: Let's leave that conversation for later.
    Matt: No, why did you jump into bed?
    Me: *sigh* Because the room looked like Paranormal Activity and the bed is safe. So I had to get there fast.
    Matt: The bed is NOT safe in Paranormal Activity. The girl actually gets attacked while she's in the bed.
    Me: Shut up and help me.

    Several fractured ribs later I'm beginning to wonder if I should just stop watching scary movies regardless of what anyone else says. That or get a lamp on my side of the bed.

    I have not gotten an X-ray yet, but I assume it'll look something like this:

    But with broken ribs.

    Schmuck That

    Originally Posted at Untypically Jia

    I love words.

    I also loved watching Dinner for Schmucks.

    I have not laughed this hard since, well, since the first time I ever saw Steve Carell.

    Dinner for Schmucks had me laughing non-stop. I'm not exaggerating. At least once every three minutes, you're laughing. I can't say that about many other movies. Certainly none I've seen in the past ten years. I was nervous at first because lately the comedy movies we've been watching put ALL the hilarity in the trailer and leave nothing good for the movie. But Dinner for Schmucks barely skimmed the service in their trailer.

    The only thing I didn't like about the movie was they didn't say the word "schmuck" once. In the movie, the people are referred to as idiots or sarcastically, "winners". But never schmucks. Just call the movie Dinner for Idiots. But aside from that, I liked every single moment, even the horribly embarrassing scenes.

    Recommendation: Don't drink soda during the entire length of the movie.

    Suggestion: If you think this movie about schmucks is just for schmucks, keep in mind that you're the schmuck reading the blog belonging to the schmuck that likes the movie about schmucks.